A Veterans Wife Challenge  

March 6, 2015

 

Hello, my name is Jeanette and I am a spouse of a veteran ... I am also the Director of Community Education for The Caregivers' Brigade™. 

 

Today, I will share some of the challenges of Caregivers. Challenges, those are not often apparent to others, or even for us. Challenges in regards to mental health VS Physical health... We as individuals are very visual. We often hold the belief that if we don't SEE it, it doesn't exist. 

 

I have been together with the love of my life for 13 years. Over the past 13 years, my husband has battled Post Traumatic Stress Disorder better known to people as PTSD. Yes, during our entire relationship, PTSD has been present. Over the years I have learned to be very independent, and to manage different situations, and my husband has needed to give up some of his independence and learn to become a little more dependent on me than either of us had thought necessary. 

 

That brings me to now... 

 

Two weeks ago my husband suffered a quite severe Heart attack. For approximately 2 months prior to my husband’s heart attack, he had suffered chest pain, severe neck pain, shoulder pain, exhaustion, and numbness in one of his arms. 

 

He was seen by medical professionals on 4 separate occasions. I remember the exact words from two of the doctors: 

 

Doctor #2 - "It’s muscular… Take Advil"

Doctor #3 - "Well, you're not having a stroke." 

 

Although shoulder pain, neck pain, numbness are all signs of heart disease/heart attack; no tests were done relating to the heart. Was he being labeled? Labeled because of his PTSD, his past medical history, and perhaps many factors that I may not be fully aware of; but we were certainly not given the impression that his physical symptoms were being considered as a potential physical problem. 

 

This brings me back to the day he had his heart attack:

 

... He was medically assisted quickly and professionally 

... He was transported to a specialist immediately 

... Treatment for his physical symptoms was immediate.

 

We are very grateful for the care that he received that day! 

 

My Biggest Challenge… 

 

For me my biggest challenge recently that I have had to face is allowing people to help; for me this has been very difficult. For the last 13 years I have walked side by side with my husband, helping with the challenges he faces everyday with PTSD. 

 

Some people find it hard to understand mental illness, so avoidance is sometimes easier. Sometimes the emotional ride is too much for others, or it’s just easier not to talk about it, to move on. Now, being faced with a physical illness, the love and support has been totally overwhelming; the phone calls, the emails, the visits, the gifts etc. 

 

It’s not that I don't appreciate all the love and support that we have received and continue to receive. It’s just a puzzling factor for me of how easy others can show an overwhelming amount of support after a physical injury is sustained in comparison to the isolation that was displayed to the same person suffering a mental injury. 

 

This is not written directly or indirectly to anyone or in reference to anything specific. It has been written to share how physical and mental illnesses are looked at by us as a whole; by society. Society will only function when we regain our humanity and compassion for others.